Book Review: The Unmumsy Mum

The Hilarious Highs and Emotional Lows of Motherhood

Creator of the popular blog “The Unmumsy Mum,” Sarah Turner offers an uncensored account of her early years of parenting.

Sarah Turner’s first few months of parenting were tough. On the darkest of sleep-deprived days, when the baby would not settle and she was irritable and the house was a disaster-zone, she wanted to read about someone who felt the same. Someone who would reassure her that she wasn’t a total failure. But she found nothing of the sort. She decided then and there that she would write something herself. She would document parenthood as she found it. Not how she wanted to find it or how she wanted other people to think that she found it. But how it was. Warts and all. 

Thus, her blog was born. Now with thousands of followers, “The Unmumsy Mum” blog covers everything from “baby-wearing incompetence” to “second child shortcuts.” Full of candor, humor, and charm, this book—a #1 Sunday Times bestseller—shows us that we can read every parenting manual under the sun, but still have no bloody clue—and not having a clue is just fine.

The Unmumsy Mum release date is April 18th 2017.  Pre-order now at Penguin Random House and Amazon.

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Our Thoughts

I first came across The Unmumsy Mum blog thanks to a funny Facebook posting share by a friend who lives in the UK - and instantly thought, I need to read this page!  Then quickly added it to my FB business page to read there - I tend to keep all things baby/children grouped over there for reading since my business is in regards to babies & children.  Soon after that, my brain said, I need to buy that book when it comes out! So when The Unmumsy Mum came up for review, I grabbed it, haha. Oh yeah.

Sarah's blog and book are honest when it comes to motherhood - no holds barred.  She writes about the good, the bad, the ugly, and the very ugly. Motherhood's not all roses and unicorns, as pretty much any parent can tell you.  But in this day and age of internet-super-judginess, she is right - we tend to only share the good by selectively editing what we show to people.

A perfect example right here:

I posted this pic on FB saying how excited I was to review this book.  What you can't see in the original, uncropped version of this particular photo, is my kid is sitting on the sofa in the background eating boogers.  Because, gross. LOL.  And who wants to see that!

I discussed the book with my husband and encouraged him to read it, too.  He read a couple of paragraphs on a random page.  He's more in the category of "if you hate it so much, why did you have more kids?"  Which led into a more detailed conversation ending with him saying he'd never understand some things (like how hormones change women; not the first time we've had a similar conversation).  I encouraged him to read it, to help him understand. Will he read the whole thing?  I doubt it.  But his brain works differently than most people, and that's part of why I love him.

Motherhood can be very ugly.  I remember in one of my online mommy-groups one mom saying how guilty she felt for telling us other moms, although she of course loved her child to bits, she really didn't like him right then.  At all. And all of us moms got it.  Because of course we do.  We've all had bad days, weeks, months, years.  The early years are hard. Infants are cute and cuddly and soft and smell good . . . when they're freshly bathed, diapered, and happy.  It's the crying, poo-splosions, vomiting, sleep deprived part that makes things, ummm . . . haha . . . less than ideal. When my son was 4 . . . saying it was an unpleasant time is a gross understatement.  Especially when your children behave like little angels for everyone . . . except you, their Mom.  Oh, they save all of that pent up frustration of being, well, 4, just for you. Motherhood isn't for the faint of heart.

The sad thing is, it's not just on social media that we paint a "selectively edited" picture of our lives. It is socially unacceptable to complain about being a parent for fear of being judged. ("if you hate it so much, why did you have more kids?" "stop complaining; these moments go by so fast" "you are so lucky, some people can't have children") and the list goes on - and then there's the strangers in public who obviously know so much more about parenting your child than you. One woman in a fabric store chastised me for attempting to quiet my absurdly loud child, who was screeching at the top of his lungs, echoing throughout the store - since he has Down Syndrome well of course I absolutely should let him do whatever he wanted because he is a "special gift from God" and of course  she knew exactly what she was talking about because her sister has a child with Fragile X Syndrome.  If I could have smacked her and gotten away with it, I would have.  Kiss my ass, lady.  You have no idea.

So we shut it all in and complain to very few.  Which is sad - moms need to know other moms have their back!  Because we've been there.  Or are right there with you.

Some things in the book stood out to me a little more just because we've lived it and learned from it - like What a Mess - I Blame the Toys.  Last year I jumped in with the "let's seriously declutter the toys" thing thanks to a friend's experience doing it - and you know, it worked!  I do believe there was just too much toy crap to choose from - he is less frustrated now, playing with toys. Simple is better. And Get Out, Get Out, Wherever You Are - having a small outing does break up the day and it gives everybody a change of scenery.  It's easy to get bored and frustrated stuck inside the same 4 walls all day, every day. Okay, gotta be honest - 99% of the chapters really spoke to me, LOL.  The one that didn't was the one about losing her mom.  I lost my dad, so I do resonate, except I have vastly different spiritual experiences (not simply beliefs, I mean actual bona fide experiences).  Spirituality is a different journey for everyone (sorry Sarah, I know you don't like the word journey!); everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and no one can travel that journey for you.

Overall - The Unmumsy Mum is a highly enjoyable read that will make you feel, if not better, at least some solidarity over the sometimes (okay, a lot of times) "not fun" journey that is parenthood. Look at the big picture - the end result, and remember that this stage is only temporary and you will get through it.

Modern parenting just got a whole lot easier with these books. #bookreview

Today I'm telling you about three different parenting books and my thoughts on them

20 Tips for Parents: Managing Your Children’s Behavior in the Early Years

A realistic, practical, and down-to-earth look at dealing with many of the common concerns that parents have in managing the behavior of children from two to 10Based on his extensive years of work with parents and children, a pediatrician offers his advice on such common concerns as coping with tantrums, dealing with fussy or picky eaters, using discipline that works, deciding on how much TV and when, respecting and understanding children's feelings, separating behavior from the child's personality, and loving unconditionally. He also addresses how to identify bad advice and a parenting myths, and how to manage "helpful" advice from family member and friends. Catering from toddlers to early adolescence, the book's main message is for parents to stop trying to be perfect parents, as this often causes unnecessary pressure and anxiety. Instead it advises parents to focus on being a "good enough" parent. Along with a range of illustrative stories and examples from his many years of working with children and their parents, the author shows how a parents' own upbringing can unintentionally influence some of their parenting decisions. Additionally he dispels many of the common myths that are associated with parenting, and offers sensible alternative solutions that are evidence-based and proven to work.

My Thoughts (5 Stars)

This was a great book. It was filled with some great tips to help with every day issues and concerns that parents might have. There was advice from simple every day issues all the way to behavior issues that your child may be having.

My favorite tip was about saving your energy for things that really matter, as well as how to deal with unwanted advice from others.

I found the writing to be easy to read. It flowed well and kept me engaged.

***

Raising Competent Teenagers:…In an Age of Porn, Drugs and Tattoos

A how-to guide that can be read straight through, or dipped into for advice on more than 100 different issues common to parents of teens Traversing the teen years is tricky and challenging for most parents. Pornography, sex, cyber bullying, body piercing, drug experimentation, and tattoos are all part of adolescent life. How do you remain an effective, strong and compassionate parent, able to talk to your children as they become adult? This hands-on manual contains tools for keeping up communication with your teen. The author has distilled the wisdom of prominent parenting educators and her own knowledge as a medical doctor and also a mother of five children. More than 100 issues are discussed and are followed up with practical "what to do" ideas. Major areas discussed include brain and body changes, parent teen conflict, implementing rules and family values, saying no, narcissism and entitlement, and helicopter and tiger parenting.

My Thoughts (5 Stars)

As parents to modern kids, we have a lot of things to deal with that as teens, we didn't have to deal with. We had Internet, but porn wasn't a big thing then online, mainly just magazines. We didn't have to deal with being texted and being bullied online. Or the hurtful things friends might say about a photo we have on Facebook. This is all new and how to talk to our kids about it. My oldest is 11 and the teens years are right around the corner. However, being in middle school, he's exposed to a lot more than I would like.

This is a great go-to book when a issue arises and how to handle it and talk to your teen. This book was filled with so much advice, that I know it will come in handy very soon.

The parts I did read at this point, I found the writing to be good and flowed well. It caught me attention and held on to it.

***

Tricky Teens: How to Create a Great Relationship with Your Teen…Without Going Crazy! 

Help for any parent with a teenager who is chatty one day and morose the next, who refuses to come out of their room or get off their smart phone, or who argues endlessly with everyone around them. With warmth, good humor, and insight, a clinical psychologist offers crucial advice on achieving a happy home life while raising teens. He focuses on what is actually happening in the teenage brain; common issues that most teens face including anxiety, arguments, computer addiction, peer pressure, perfectionism, and self harm; ways to parent teenage boys and teenage girls—and why these methods differ; identifying and defusing clash points in the family; creating a detailed six-week plan that will help break negative behavior patterns within a family and create positive new ones; and essential conversations you can have with your teen, including information about love, money, drugs, jobs, and personal values, that will help shape them into the wonderful mature people you know they will be one day. For more than 30 years Andrew has worked with teens and their parents. Andrew stresses that teenage boys think and develop differently to teenage girls—and so he offers advice specific to each gender. Overall his main focus is on creating and nurturing open and solid relationships between parents and their teens that will lead into a well-balanced adulthood.

My Thoughts (5 Stars)

This is another book I did a quick look through, skimming and reading different parts that helped me at this time, since my son is still a pre-teen. I found a lot of useful tips in here and ways to keep my child engaged, as well, it explained why a child may kids may act out, etc. My son has anxieties already and a computer addiction. 

I liked that this book went over ways to parents a boy or a girl, and how they can be different in how we parent. While I haven't gotten to read this book all the way yet, what I did read, I learned a lot from and know that as my child gets older, I will have this book out all the time.

I really liked the authors writing and his voice. The book flowed very good and kept my attention.

Tommee Tippee #ParentOn Campaign

According to a recent study by Tommee Tippee^®, the fastest growing baby bottle brand in North America, moms-to-be and new moms receive a never-ending stream of parenting advice. In the just-released #ParentOn Poll, conducted by ORC International, a survey of 1,000 U.S. moms of children 0-6 found the majority (56%) report feeling "overwhelmed" by all that input. What new moms really want is more practical help.


Here's what to do with parenting advice from Tommee Tippee on Vimeo.

You can run, but you can't hide...  Although six in 10 moms (59%) report feeling empowered to trust their own parenting instincts, the unsolicited advice keeps coming. In fact, the #ParentOn Poll reports moms received "ridiculous advice" from a stranger (14%), mother-in-law (14%), their own mom (12%) or other family member (25%).  Some of that ridiculous advice?

• "...If I stood on my head every day, I would have a boy!"
• "Don't take the baby out of the house until age 4."
• "...Prepare my nipples for nursing by rubbing them with a steel wool pad!!"

So, what DOES mom need?

• Moms crave shut-eye, with 42% citing "more sleep" as the one thing that would have been most helpful to them as a new parent.
• Weary moms are also hoping to grow an extra set of hands (13%) and magically acquire telepathic powers to better understand their baby's needs (13%).

A parenting generation gap

• More than half of today's moms (54%) say they feel more pressure to be the perfect parent than their own parents did.
• Although they're feeling more pressure, nearly half say they are more prepared than the previous generation (46%) and are having more fun than their parents (48%).

Trust your instincts and #ParentOn  With over 50 years of expertise, Tommee Tippee is best known for its award-winning Closer to Nature^® baby bottle design. The company's mission is simple: to make everyday life easier for families everywhere. This philosophy extends beyond product design with the launch of #ParentOn, a multi-platform conversation where parents can share real parenting moments and find judgement-free support – not more advice.

This sentiment is the inspiration for Tommee Tippee's new #ParentOn campaign, a global initiative launching today, which has an ingenious answer to what to do with all that overwhelming advice: http://parent-on.com/#advicewipes. 

Book Review: Momstrology: The AstroTwins' Guide to Parenting Your Little One by the Stars

Kids DO come with an instruction manual—their astrological chart. Momstrology is the complete guide to understanding how both you and your little one are guided by the stars, and how your charts play a factor in how you relate to each other.

Identical twin sisters Ophira and Tali Edut, professional astrologers known as the AstroTwins, offer a modern look at astrology and parenting, and combine the two into a guide to understanding yourself, your parenting strengths and weaknesses, your little one's personality, and how you and your child can best relate to each other. Thoughtful, informative and fun, Momstrology covers every possible mom/child sign combination, and includes valuable information for dads and caregivers too.

 Our Thoughts

Anyone with kids wishes at some point that they'd come with a handbook. I know I have wished for one more times than I can count with each of my kids. With my boys, they're all their own personalities and are so different from one another that it's hard to fathom parenting them all the same. It just doesn't work; you know what I mean if you have more than one kiddo. Mackenzie is coming into herself now too as she broaches that year old/toddler stage of life and I KNOW I won't be parenting her anything like I do the boys.

Why is this? Well, a lot of it has to do with the fact that they are all completely different people with different likes and dislikes; different phobias, too. This is where Momstrology comes in handy, too. Momstrology allows you to see what your (in my case) Libra, Scorpio, Aquarius, and Gemini's strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes are and can be. Reading over my kiddos signs I kept nodding as the signs fit them to a tee.

Once you're done with reading about your child's astrological sign, you can read how your sign or the other parent's sign meshes with the sign of the child. This was very eye opening to me as I could figure out for myself how to go about meshing with my children's signs without making it an all out battle of wits and wills.

I absolutely love this book and I recommend it for any mom who wants to understand her child better based on the astrological signs. 5 stars from me!

You can follow Momstrology on Facebook and Twitter. You can also visit their webpage and learn more there, too! Click here to purchase Momstrology on Amazon.

Book Review: Go Take A Bath

• Invert the family hierarchy. The tendency of 21st-century parents is to place the child first, a partner second, and the self, third. This is exactly the reverse of a healthy family hierarchy and actually causes stress to children because they are out of place.
• Be a good role model. Children learn through observation and mimicry, so parents must make sure they are demonstrating the right lessons by living full, balanced lives complete with hobbies, vacations, and, yes, even baths.
• Balanced, happier parents create balanced, happier kids. Take responsibility for your own happiness and resolve trigger issues. Exploring childhood traumas and experiences helps parents identify their parenting strengths and challenges.
• Learn the art of letting go. Children can work out many of their stressors on their own, without parental involvement, so encourage them to independently problem-solve when possible. This lesson extends to acting as chauffeur, social director, tutor, and all the other ways parents over-extend themselves for their children. 
• Choices within Limits.  Parents should provide opportunities for children to make decisions—they might be surprised at all the good choices their children make when given the chance! The caveat is that you must be consistent, calm and follow-through with appropriate consequences when they don’t.
• Simpler is often better. Fun is a skill that must be taught, as is joyful living, appreciation for both tangible and intangible things, or unplugging from television and the internet. Parents need to create moments for families to rediscover and simplify their lives together.

Our Thoughts:

In this book you are reintroduced to parenting. We learn that parenting doesn't have to be hard. Taking care of ourselves first so that we can take care of our children is important. They actually have the ability to become more independent and better problem solvers. 

Robin gives us the tools to empower our kids, and give them confidence, while at the same time parenting with a firm and loving standard. This book is amazing and really should be given out to parents, new and established alike. You can read this book ten times and take away something different each time you read it. 

Her approach isn't easy and it isn't quick. In order to change how you've started you have to work. It will no doubt cause some rough edges in your relationships with your kids, but in the end you will reconstruct and build a better more loving one. 

The take away's at the end of each chapter are priceless information! I love them. It's an overview, that requires you to take a toll on your own life and delve deeper. I have to say it hurts, to have to look at yourself as a person and take action before you can parent. But, you kids will be better for it; having a whole parent instead of a spaced out, stressed out one. 

Buy the book here.

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Reviewed by Steph