Guest Post - My Confidence Walked Out the Back Door JJ DiGeronimo

One Spring Saturday morning, I was invited to speak at a women’s event on the East Coast. I was up early reviewing my slides and timing my delivery. I felt nervous, as I do with all my events. Little did I know, I was about to learn a memorable and important lesson on how my ego can sideline my confidence in minutes.

As the women arrived on that brisk morning wearing colored scarfs and light jackets, I felt confident with the content I planned to share. 

Instructed by the sounds of bells, we all moved back to our areas and took our seats. The host kicked off the event, which was followed by a wonderful opening speaker who moved all of us during her time on stage. She shared stories of her childhood and the emotional hurdles of the passing of her mother. With few dry eyes in the room, I could feel a wave of emotion take over my thoughts. Within minutes, I found myself questioning both my presentation and my speaking abilities. How can I follow that? What can I say now that has any importance? 

On the fly, I started reworking my presentation without having any theme or plan. As the audience’s applause faded, the MC started to introduce me. I could feel my nerves and sense my self-doubt grow by each passing second. I was already sweating, and my internal voices were loud and unsupportive. My ego stood front and center, leading me with fear and uncertainty. 

As I stood up to take the stage, I could feel my confidence walk out the back door. As I spoke, I noticed some odd responses from the audience and definite gaps in my thoughts and delivery. I am being very kind to myself when I say, “My presentation was a flop.” I wanted nothing more than to evaporate from that room. 

To this day, I still remember how quickly I sidestepped myself, believing I had nothing worthy of sharing at that moment. I had allowed myself to move off my inner compass as I tried, on the fly, to imitate someone else. The embarrassment was real, and I can still remember how it felt as I approached the stage.

 Key Finding #57 Trusting your gifts in times of doubt takes courage.

Can you think of a time when you gave away your value or did not trust your gifts? What was the event or situation that made you question yourself or your offering? What would you tell yourself now about that situation?

On that brisk Saturday morning, I learned a lesson that I revisit often: No matter how good the speaker, message, or admiration of the audience, I can choose to step into what God or the Universe has given me to be or to do, or I can step away from it within that moment.

 Trying to show up like the speaker before me or acting like an author I admire might be kind or flattering, but it is not authentic. Putting others on a pedestal is a form of admiration, but it is not healthy for your Soul. We are all here with different gifts, knowings, and insights. If you want to make your mark on this world, you must work to show up and share your authentic offerings as God or the Universe has intended. 

I had liked the speaker before me so much that I thought I should deliver my presentation the same way. Well, I tried to be like her, and surprise, I failed. Had I been more aware of these desires and thoughts as I approached that stage, I would have been able to revert my focus and energy toward delivering from my heart and my gifts. 

Instead, I had allowed my mind to take over, and then my ego got the best of me. My ego pushed me into thinking that the only way I would do a good job in that moment was to resemble the awesome speaker ahead of me. This outward focus misled me, and I went down the path of chasing, copying, and imitating. 

So, let me save you the embarrassment of mirroring my experience. In fact, I encourage you to lean away from creating the same type of offering, reaction, or response as another person altogether. 

These are the words I now use to reassure myself:

 I give myself permission to be me. 

What I have to share is unique.

I was hand-selected to harness the gifts granted to me. 

I am honored to share my gifts with the world.

Key Finding #58 The world needs exactly what you came to share.

 JJ is a three-time author with her new book Seeking: 74 Key Findings to Raise Your Energy, Sidestep Your Self-Doubts, and Align with Your Life's Work

About the Author

A woman in tech turned award-winning author shares energy practices and empowering career strategies for women to make their desired impact!

JJ DiGeronimo is an award-winning author of two books that share strategies to advance professional women. She is also the creator of the global group Tech Savvy Women & Together We Seek. With new levels of awareness, JJ shares a more spiritual side of her life that undeniably strengthens her mission to empower women at work and in life.

SLEEP SMARTER: 21 Essential Strategies to Sleep Your Way to a Better Body, Better Health, and Bigger Success

Sleep is often the first thing we sacrifice in order to do everything from work harder to binge-watch our favorite shows. 

Unfortunately, this also means sacrificing our mental, emotional and physical performance, as sleep deprivation can lead to immune system failure, diabetes, obesity, depression, memory loss or worse.

We need a wake-up call when it comes to recognizing the importance of sleep in lives, and SLEEP SMARTER: 21 Essential Strategies to Sleep Your Way to a Better Body, Better Health, and Bigger Success (Rodale; March 15, 2016) by Shawn Stevenson, BS, FDN (as seen on TedX, ESPN, ENTREPRENEUR, ESPN and more), host of the wildly popular podcast “Model Health Show” and Founder of the Advanced Integrative Health Alliance, delivers just that.

Through years of research and consulting the leading health experts, Stevenson discovered that the missing piece in many people’s quest to optimize their hormone function, balance blood sugar levels, get the numbers on the scale to move or simply not feel like they’ve been hit by a truck is sleep.

In SLEEP SMARTER, Stevenson reveals the simple, surprising and highly effective strategies readers can start employing right away, including:

YOUR BRAIN NEEDS A DETOX EVERY NIGHT Scientists have found that our brains actually have their own unique waste disposal system, similar to that of the lymphatic system; it’s called the GLYMPHATIC system. All of the dynamic functions the human brain does result in a lot of waste products, all of which need to be removed. This waste removal literally makes room for new growth and development. Removing and recyling dead cells, tossing out toxins and shutting out waste is critical to brain function. If the waste removal system in your home backs up, then things get nasty. The same holds true if you’re not sleeping well and your glymphatic system can’t do its job – this is believed to be one of the foundational causes of Alzheimer’s Disease.

IT’S NOT ABOUT GETTING YOUR 8 HOURS, IT’s ABOUT GETTING TO BED AT THE RIGHT TIME It’s been shown that human beings get the most beneficial hormonal secretions and recovery by sleeping during the hours of 10pm and 2am—you get the most rejuvenating effects during this period, and any sleep that you get in addition is a nice bonus. Some people get eight or more hours of sleep but still don’t feel rested when they wake up; this is because their bodies are being deprived of the regenerative sleep they need between 10pm and 2am.

LEAVE THE OFFICE ON TIME “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” is a common refrain in our culture. Everyone is trying to work harder, burning the candle at both ends and forgoing sleep. But it’s actually making us less efficient: our quality of work suffers when we don’t sleep. Research shows that just 24 hours of sleep deprivation leads to an overall reduction of six percent in glucose reaching the brain. Simple translation: you get dumber.  Instead, work smarter and schedule sleep. If you know you’ve got a big task, project or event coming up, plan ahead and set it up so that you get an optimal amount of sleep and can do your best work.

DON’T ORDER YOUR LUNCH IN, TAKE A WALK AND GET SOME SUN It may sound counterintuitive that getting more sunlight during the day can help you sleep better at night, but science has proven that to be the case. Light exposure (specifically sunlight) triggers your body to produce optimal levels of daytime hormones and neurotransmitters regulate your biological clock; too little light exposure during the day and too much artificial exposure in the evening negatively affect your ability to sleep well at night. In fact, a recent study focused on the sleep quality of day shift workers revealed some shocking results. When compared to office workers who have direct access to windows at work, the office workers who didn’t have access to windows got 173% less exposure to natural light and as a result slept an average of 46 fewer minutes each night. Sleep deficits resulted in more reported physical ailments and lower vitality.

LISTEN TO YOUR GUT The food you eat can dramatically impact your quality of sleep. Scientists have uncovered that the human gut is a mass of neural tissue, filled with 30 neurotransmitters (like the brain). Additionally, the gut has 400 times more melatonin than the pineal gland in your brain.  It has been found that your gut bacteria also have a circadian timing system and there’s a virtual “changing of the guard” that happens every night to help keep the good guys in control. If you don’t sleep, or don’t sleep well, then it gives the opportunistic bacteria a chance to take over your gut and brain.

SLEEP SMARTER lays out the effects of screentime before bed, when you should have your last cup of coffee, why good sex can result in good sleep, what to wear (or not wear) to bed, how to create a sleep sanctuary, the best time to exercise, the good-sleep nutrients and minerals your body needs, your best sleep positions and much more - including a 14-day plan to make over your sleep.

Throughout the book, Stevenson also weaves in his own inspiring personal journey to better health. As a teenager, he was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disease that crushed his dreams of becoming a professional athlete. After a period of depression, Shawn took matters into his own hands. Unwilling to accept the “un-curable” diagnosis his doctors gave him, Shawn took a functional medicine approach to his health, including upgrading his sleep, and completely reversed the degeneration. He graduated from the University of Missouri-St. Louis with a background in biology and kinesiology and went on to found the Advance Integrative Health Alliance, which provides wellness services for individuals and organizations worldwide. Shawn has dedicated his life to showing people that they have the power to become their strongest and healthiest selves and that it all starts with a strong foundation: sleep.

My Thoughts

I have always resented sleep. Those are eight perfectly good hours that I could be doing important things. Unfortunately, sleep isn't optional, but at least now I can get the most out of it, thanks to Sleep Smarter. This book gives you tips and suggestions to help you get a better night's sleep, and use the time you're resting to improve your mind, body, and soul.

This book is a quick read and is packed with lots of information. It gives you a whole outline of things to do during the day that will help you get a better night's sleep. These are little things that aren't earth-shattering changes, like eating certain foods or getting the right amount of sunlight. You get tips on how to still your mind, the right positions to sleep in,and supplements that may help you get a better night's sleep naturally. At the end of the book there is a 14 day planner to help you track your success. This is a wonderful guide to a great night's sleep that will help you sleep better and awake more productive.

Free Today! Don't Stay Stuck!: Eliminate Your Excuses and Gain the Confidence to Achieve Your Dreams by Lori Chavez-Wysocki

Have you ever felt "stuck" at your entry-level job or in a certain aspect or your professional career? Do you feel like you have set backs impeding you from achieving your goals? This inspiring self-improvement book will give you the courage to eliminate excuses and gain the confidence to achieve your dreams, and even increase your income. It is your very own personal trainer for getting you to your next level. It's filled with concrete steps, valuable lessons and ideas worth spreading. All the strategies I share in my book have proven successful results and I know that if you apply even just a few to your career and life, you too can achieve your most desired goals. As a business minded woman, my strategies help you leverage your skills and maximize your potential. Don't Stay Stuck addresses many life events that people usually consider as "roadblocks" but teaches us instead to view them as "detours" and how to convert them into opportunities. Don't Stay Stuck will give you the strategies to get "unstuck" and on your way to your next level.

About the Author

Lori Chavez-Wysocki believes "There is no such thing as a dead end job." She has gone from field worker, to kitchen prep, to top performing district manager. She has earned the coveted Circle of Excellence award for Jack in the Box, Restaurants six times. Lori is a popular mentor and sought after motivational speaker and real estate investor.

At age 2, Lori witnessed her father drown which later led her into foster care. Consequently, she was left with stress and confusion However she yearned for control and peace of mind. She was a teen mom and a high school dropout. Determined to make some changes, she earned her high school GED and Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration while a full-time mother of three.

Lori has learned various ways to attain success by self-education and enjoys teaching life principles, beliefs and habits that inspire people to find success an their entry-level jobs.

She also wishes to motivate readers to push through their struggles and accomplish their goals so that they too can achieve their next level of success.

Lori believes that "We were all born a winner." and knows that we achieve success by investing time and effort, because "What we put into life we get out of life."

Book Review: Minimalism: Right Decluttering for More Order, Time and Freedom.

It seems like there just aren't enough hours in the day, and it's hard to keep organized and clutter-free. This book talks about ways to achieve those goals, and free up the time you take searching for things in a pile of clutter (or cleaning it all!) 

The book mostly contains a lot of common-sense things one can do to clean quickly and get rid of clutter (like asking yourself if this object you're holding onto really serves any purpose in your life and makes you happy). It also goes into the KISS method and talks about minimizing more than just the clutter on that shelf or table. The inbox, for example, is a huge issue for a lot of people, and Tolga gives tips for taking back control of it. Plus, he talks about learning to say no, 

The author's straight-forward style can seem a bit dry at times, and I do think some advice goes a bit far (I still am distrustful of putting everything in digital format. Even with cloud, things can happen). Still, there are gems in it, and I found the advice in this book inspiring. Too often, we let the small chores that can be done in minutes until they balloon into things that will take ages to get through. He advocates doing these little things as you go along, so that they don't end up taking up big chunks of your day. It's a hard habit to get into, but I firmly agree with him about it being an important one.

The explanation of the KISS method is accessible, and really does need to be applied in pretty much any situation. While I read it in one shot in order to be able to type up this review, I certainly recommend reading a bit at a time and doing the activities in the book as your reach them.