Ways to Support New Moms

Most of us don’t need to have had a baby to know that adjusting to a newborn is hard work. We’ve all heard about the sleepless nights, the crazy hormones and the learn-as-you-go mishaps that every new mom will go through.

Even so, it’s not always easy for people who haven’t experienced motherhood to understand exactly what a new mom needs. Should you buy her some adorable onesies and bring them to her in person? Does she even want visitors so soon after having a baby?

While every new mom has different needs and preferences, there are some tried-and-true ways to support her in a meaningful way. Whether it’s your sister, coworker or best friend, here are the best ways to show your support as she enters a new journey in motherhood:

1.      Show interest in visiting her (but don’t push).

Some new moms will feel slightly insulted if you don’t express interest in seeing their new little one, while others couldn’t care less. To be on the safe side, call her or shoot her a text saying congratulations and that you can’t wait to see both mom and baby.

Just be sure to word your text in a way that doesn’t sound pushy. No matter how excited you are to see her new bundle of joy, some moms need their space in the first few weeks or even months. Even if you’re her best friend, don’t take it personally if she doesn’t want you rushing over to her place to see her little one.

2.      Bring her food.

It’s no secret that new parents don’t have much time to cook a nice meal for themselves. If you want to be supportive and helpful, consider bringing her one of her favorite takeout meals or a home-cooked meal you know she’ll love.

Although it’s the new mom who understandably gets most of the attention, it’s also a nice gesture to include her partner as well. They’re similarly sleep-deprived and could use a nice meal!

3.      Be a good listener.

While motherhood is truly a gift, it’s also a lot of hard work. Every mom has a right to complain, especially new moms who are incredibly overwhelmed with their dramatic life change.

Ask her how she’s doing and let her vent to you. She might feel a little cooped up in her home and probably doesn’t have much to report on other than her baby. Try to listen and show interest.

Most importantly, don’t give advice unless she asks for it. Even if you’re an experienced mom who has conquered motherhood, she may not want or need your tips. Be respectful and let her handle motherhood in her own way.

4.      Create a “Mom Survival Package.”

Gifting a new mom a homemade “Mommy Survival Package” is the perfect way for coworkers and close friends alike to show their unwavering support. For coworkers and acquaintances, you can include things such as granola bars (on-the-go snacking is a must for new moms), a travel mug, lip balm and some adorable burp cloths to make her baby’s tiny burps even cuter.

If you’re closer with her, you can include a few additional items that are more personal to her. For instance, a nice pair of stretch leggings you know she’ll love or her favorite type of cookie with a handwritten letter that will make her day.

5.      Clean for her.

The first few weeks of bringing home a newborn are insanely hectic. The last thing any new parent has time for is cleaning the home.

Not only that but homes with newborns and toddlers tend to get messy fast. If you’re close with the new mom, consider volunteering to clean her home or hiring a professional cleaning service for her.

Of course, you’ll want to check with her first before sending a professional over to her home. Although most parents would jump for joy to have someone eliminate the burden of cleaning, some moms may not want anyone in their home in the first few months.

6.      Ask her what she needs.

Why beat around the bush? Ask her directly whether she has everything she needs or if some items are missing off her baby registry.

If you want it to be a surprise, find out which diapers she’s using—new moms can never have enough diapers! Another way to make it a surprise is by giving her an Amazon gift card. She can use it to get all those little things that she didn’t know she needed until the baby arrived.

Keep in mind that she might not need tangible things. If you ask her what she needs, be prepared to run errands for her or do laundry. As long as it’s not an unreasonable request on her part, try to do it with a smile.

7.      Don’t paint a bleak picture.

It’s natural to tell related stories to connect with someone. The problem is when your baby-related stories start painting a grim picture for what lies ahead.

No new mom needs to be told that the newborn phase is a piece of cake compared to the terrible twos. She’s already feeling overwhelmed and the last thing she needs is to be told that it gets worse.

Keep your conversation light and positive. Tell her how she’s doing an amazing job so far and that nursing usually gets better after a few weeks (it really does). Letting a new mom know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel may be exactly what she needs to hear.

8.      Watch for signs of postpartum depression.

If your friend is suffering from postpartum depression (PPD), she may not realize that she needs help. PPD can make new moms feel a jumble of emotions that transform them into an entirely different person.

Be understanding if she lashes out or doesn’t seem like her normal self. Although most moms do experience some mood swings after giving birth, PPD is a serious mood disorder that can take its emotional toll on new moms.

If you suspect your friend has PPD, the best thing you can do to help her is by letting her know that you’re always there for her. You can also start learning more about PPD to help her through her tough time.

Showing Love and Support for New Moms

Even the toughest, most resilient women can start to feel overwhelmed in their new role as a parent. Performing small acts of kindness and being there for them can go a long way in helping new moms feel supported and loved. Just remember that every mom is different, so be sure to tailor your support in a way that you think will resonate best with her.